2020 Vision

New year, new you. That's what it's all about, right?

As a therapist, I cringe a little at the idea of New Years Resolutions, not because I think there is something wrong with wanting to set goals for yourself, but because I want people to be striving for improvement any time it feels relevant. Every day can be a chance for a fresh start, if you so choose. The following includes tips on how to achieve change in a way that is lasting and leaves you feeling successful. Here they are in no particular order of importance:

1) Set yourself up for success by starting with small realistic, attainable goals. For example, if your goal is to run a half marathon, but you've never run a mile, then don't try to run 5 miles on your first day of training! Instead, start with an individualized goal that works for you and build on it. Instead, start by running a short distance or set amount of time based on your fitness level, then increase it gradually over time. This is a helpful strategy for when a goal feels too big or overwhelming. I've used it with clients for a variety of goals including fitness, school, work, chores, relationships, and much more.

2) Have realistic expectations. This means considering the potential positives and negatives that may be associated with working towards your goal and being honest with yourself about where you are in the process at any given time. I call this meeting yourself where you are, which is an important part of self-awareness. If you can meet yourself where you're at at any given point in the process, then you're likely to demonstrate flexibility and adaptability when an obstacle arises.

3) Avoid judging or criticizing yourself. This is linked with having a realistic expectation that you will make mistakes and have periods where you do not make progress or even lack progress towards your goal. Motivation stems from feeling encouraged, confident, and passionate about something. Try to be aware of your internal dialogue, and make it a point to have a conversation with yourself that is productive and helping you achieve your goals instead of getting in your own way.

4) Be flexible. Sometimes we set out to do something, and it just doesn't work the way we planned. If this happens, figure out what isn't working and try to adjust your method. Be open to the idea that there may be multiple ways to reach your goal, and there may be a little trial and error getting there.

5) Be healthy. No matter what the goal or change is that a person is seeking, the underlying goal is usually the same: to achieve greater happiness. And happiness leads to improved health. So, make sure you are feeling good about the choices you are making to achieve this goal. If you find yourself feeling distressed, dysfunctional, or unhappy then consider that a red flag that something needs to change in your process.

6) Use your supports. Humans are inherently social beings, and we strive for a sense of community. It is perfectly okay to look to others for support or accountability at times. The likelihood for success goes up that much more when you have people in your corner.

Wishing you all the best in achieving your goals for 2020!

Thanks for reading.

You matter.