Coping vs Self-Care

We live in an era where there is never enough time in the day and people are constantly looking for a quick fix, so they can get on with their day. As a result, they often neglect to realize that their lack of coping and self-care are at the root of their symptoms and impeding their focus and productivity. Over the years, I have come to learn that many people are familiar with the concepts of self-care and coping, but don't really know what it is or where to begin. In my work with clients, I like to start by defining the terms as follows:

Coping involves engaging in an activity that can be used to self-soothe or bring oneself back into a calmer state of being. Coping is typically used more as an intervention when you're already feeling emotionally distressed. For example, practicing using deep breathing when you're anxious.

Self-care encompasses the day to day lifestyle choices that encourage overall well-being. Self-care is utilized routinely and is used more as a preventative method for maintaining a healthy mind and balanced mood. An example of this would be engaging in daily exercise.

A common complaint I hear from clients is that they were recommended a strategy that was not individualized to them, most commonly journaling. This is not to say that journaling is never helpful, but to emphasize that it truly depends on the person. For coping to be effective, it needs to be healthy, enjoyable, and non-triggering for the person who is engaging in it. If you find yourself feeling more negative while engaging in a coping activity, even if it is a healthy one, then consider whether that strategy is really a fit for you.

Keep in mind that challenges are to be expected any time you are creating a new habit, so healthy coping may not necessarily come easy at first. I encourage you to be patient and expect to trial and error various strategies, until you find the ones that work for you. I also recommend identifying different strategies based on the intensity of your mood. You will come to learn that some strategies only work when certain moods arise. Self-awareness is key. The more you become in tune with yourself, the easier it will become to know what you need in that moment. Please remember, coping is intended to give you an opportunity to reset your mind, so that you can come back and tackle the underlying issue with a clearer perspective. This is different from using distractions as a way to avoid dealing with your underlying issues.

I know you're busy. I know time is limited. But make it happen, anyway. Make yourself a priority, just as much as the to-do list in your life. After all, you're only as useful as your health allows you to be.

Thank you for reading.

You matter.