Love Languages

If you’re reading this, you’re likely familiar with the term love languages, a term coined by Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages book series. As Gary outlines, there are 5 love languages as follows: words of affirmation, receiving gifts, physical touch, acts of service, and quality time. My goal today is not to go into detail about the love languages, since Gary does this so well already, but instead I am going to share with you why I believe love languages matter and how they can enhance your existing relationships.

Though it may seem cheesy, love languages are extraordinarily helpful in creating and maintaining a balanced relationship. Love languages are a form of communication, and just like we each have our own styles of verbal communication, we also have our own ways of giving and receiving love. The better awareness you and your loved ones have of each other's love languages, the better you are able to acknowledge and accept when love is given and received.

For example, let's say one partner verbalizes their love through time spent together (i.e. having dinner or watching TV), while the other does so through words of affirmation (compliments or writing notes). Couples with these differences can sometimes miss opportunities from their partner because they are focused on the way they give love instead of seeing how their partner is giving it.

Sometimes resentment can build up or partners may feel they are “falling out of love”, when in reality they are not recognizing how the other is giving love. The more communication and feedback you give one another about needs, the better able you are to feel fulfilled in the relationship.

This isn't to say that you or your partner needs to change your love language for the other. The most important aspect of this principle is to learn to respect your partner’s need to receive love in a comfortable and effective way. Also, understand that you can have a successful relationship even when your love languages are different. So get creative! Find a way to blend your love languages needs, to ensure you're both feeling fulfilled.

If you haven't already, try out a free Love Languages Quiz!

Thank you for reading.

Your relationships matter, as do you.

Author: Lyndsey Perry, LPC