The Golden Rule

Treat others as you want to be treated- this expectation permeates our lives starting from grade school all the way into adulthood. Many people practice this expertly with others in an effort to abide by social norms and be liked by others. But while they may have gotten good at saying nice and supportive things to others, I so frequently observe that people fail in the way they treat themselves. If this sounds familiar to you, ask yourself this: What makes me so different that I do not deserve the same respect that I give others?

Often times, people are their own worst critic and tend to have different expectations for themselves than of others. This is not always a bad thing, but in most cases it can cause undue distress. For example, imagine you are compassionate and understanding when others make a mistake, but when you make one you tell yourself "I'm worthless" and "I can't do anything right". If you said these things to someone else, do you think they would appreciate it or feel better? What if a friend or family member said these things to you? I'm going to go out on a limb and say that neither of those are scenarios that would leave you feeling good about yourself or the interaction.

With this in mind, consider how much of what you feel about yourself may be linked to how you are treating yourself. This is not unlike how you feel about a person based on how they treat you. The only difference is that if you don't like how someone else is treating you, then you can physically remove yourself from their presence or limit interactions with them. Unfortunately, this is not as easy to accomplish with yourself. As a result, this often leads to poor coping (i.e. overeating, drinking, self-harm to name a few) as an attempt to seek comfort and relief.

So what can you do about it? Begin by paying attention to what you are saying to yourself throughout the day. Once you've identified the messages you are telling yourself, then you can practice replacing them with more productive messages. Lastly, be sure to incorporate self-care into your routine to remind yourself that you are worthy and entitled to enjoy life.

Thank you for reading.

You matter.