You Don't Need Therapy, Just Suck It Up And Rub Some Dirt In It

This one is for you skeptics and curious folk.

For those who don't know me, honesty and transparency are what you get with me. I'll admit, this makes people uncomfortable sometimes, but I find it important to push past discomfort in order to free ourselves from the baggage that takes energy away from doing the things that we really want to do. So today, we are going to embrace the discomfort and talk about why therapy is relevant in many ways that people don't realize until they've hit rock bottom. I imagine some of you might be thinking, "Of course you think that, you are a therapist", but in the spirit of full transparency, I haven't always been a therapist nor have I always valued therapy (I know, shocking). If I haven't lost you yet, humor me, and keep reading a little longer.

Here are a few commonly misunderstood things about therapy:

1. Your therapist's role is not to judge you, give you advice, or tell you what to do with your life. Their role is to listen with an open mind and offer perspective, feedback, skills, and education as needed.

2. Your therapist is not in charge of your decision making or responsible for your life. They are responsible for educating you on how to keep yourself healthy and safe, and to guide you to any relevant resources. At the end of the day, you are responsible for your own choices.

3. Your therapist should be challenging you into the uncomfortable in a respectful, gentle way. They should not be offending you or judging you based on your reactions, responses, or choices.

4. Your therapist is not all-knowing. Don't hesitate to give your feedback or to push back sometimes. Therapy is collaborative and your therapist can best help you when you are fully honest.

5. Your therapist's role is not to have expectations of you, but to help you establish healthy expectations for yourself and figure out how to meet them so that you feel healthier and more fulfilled. They also understand that progress fluctuates and a natural part of treatment is lack of progress. Your therapist can best help you when you keep showing up and work past the hurdles.

6. Just like with any other type of treatment you seek, every therapist may not be the right fit. Sometimes personalities mesh and other times they don't. It's important to know what you are looking for in a therapist, and to ask for consultation to ensure fit.

7. Therapy is not just "for people who are at rock bottom" or "can't solve their own problems". Therapy also provides an opportunity to examine yourself on deeper level, consider various perspectives, and find new ways of achieving your goals when you're complacent and bogged down.

The reality is that most people reach rock bottom because their lives have become so imbalanced and they are so burned out that their level of functioning declines. Most of us are usually on the go, split many directions, and stretched way too thin. Each day, we are bogged down with expectations, obligations, and the needs of others. Most people I encounter are taking little to no time for themselves, and are barely aware of the long term implications of this.

If we stop to think about it, maintaining your mental health is no different than, let's say, maintaining your car. You get regular oil changes, right? Your car is working fine, but every time that light goes on or that sticker tells you it's time, you head right on over and get that oil changed. For those of you who have boldly dared to ignore it, you found out the hard way that your car eventually stops functioning. It's kind of crazy, that this simple task of putting oil in your car regularly can keep your car running, but if you don't do it then it'll stop running, despite the fact that all the car parts are still intact. Now if we take this concept and apply it to humans, we can see that when you do not maintain your mental health you will also shut down, even when all your other body parts are still intact. Deep stuff, eh?

Alright let's wrap this up since I've already robbed you of 3 minutes of your life. I leave you with a simple request: consider being different. Instead of continuing on autopilot, hoping you don't crash and burn, take back the wheel and be preventative. Avoid the crash by taking the time to re-establish your goals, bring balance back into your life, and for goodness sake just do some self-care already!

Once again, thank you for reading.

You matter.